Mental Health Issues to Be Aware of in Your 20s

I was quoted in this article regarding typical mental health issues for people in their 20s. I discuss the impact of stressful transitions and how to cope. by Rheyanne Weaver |

People in their 20s seem to have it all: youth, energy, health, and looks. But they are also still figuring themselves out, and this time of change can bring certain mental health concerns as well. Experts have information on these issues that tend to impact people in their 20s, and provide some solutions for addressing and coping with these problems.

Clinical psychologist Dean Haddock, a marriage, family, and child counselor and the executive director and founder of Community Counseling and Psychological Services, points to a fairly common activity of 20-somethings that can lead to mental health issues if it’s not checked: alcohol and drug use.

“The first problem that leads to many others is alcohol and chemical abuse, which often leads to dependency,” Haddock said in an email. “The mental disorders that follow are often depression, anxiety, and brain injury. Of course, self-esteem and body-image problems often lead to eating disorders.”

Haddock gives three tips to help people in their 20s prevent and get through some common mental health concerns:

1. Know your genetic history of mental disorders. Knowing is half the battle to avoid those disorders in yourself.
2. Be choosey about your friends, as they will influence your decisions. Healthy friends lead to healthier decisions.
3. Self-esteem is often the result of the people who matter to you. If they do not esteem you, then you will not esteem yourself.

Nerina Garcia-Arcement, a clinical psychologist and clinical assistant professor at NYU School of Medicine, suggests that the many life changes people experience in their 20s can cause mental health issues at times.

“Your 20s are filled with life transitions that can be stressful,” Garcia-Arcement said. “This is a time when young adults are solidifying their personalities, developing their independence from family, starting or finishing college, beginning new jobs, developing a career, forming romantic relationships, and learning to manage their existing family relationships and friendships within these context.”

“Individuals in their 20s don’t have a lifetime of experience to draw on when managing multiple life transitions at once,” she added. “When someone experiences these transitions, anxiety and depressive disorders can occur.”

Here are six of Garcia-Arcement’s tips to help people in their 20s cope with mental health issues more common to that age group:

1. Seek out and form strong support networks.
2. Seek out others who are going through similar experiences and share your feelings, whether you are feeling worried, nervous, scared, sad, confused, or excited.
3. Know that you are not alone in your confusion about your career and relationships.
4. Seek out mentors who have achieved their goals, and ask for advice.
5. If you are feeling stress, sadness, or anxiety, engage in activities that will help you manage those feelings such as yoga, meditation, exercise, hobbies, social activities, relaxation exercises, and deep breathing.
6. If you feel you are not getting the necessary support and feel overwhelmed or depressed, seek out mental health professionals who can help you manage the feelings related to your life transitions.

Stephanie Sarkis, a licensed mental health counselor, said in an email that anxiety and depression are some of the main mental health issues 20-somethings face.

“We have seen an increase in these issues due to the lagging economy and difficulties finding employment,” Sarkis said. “Many people in their 20s have moved back in with their parents, which can trigger feelings of failure and frustration.”

Dr. Maiysha Clairborne, a family physician and wellness and stress management coach, added in an email that eating disorders associated with body dysmorphic disorder and body-image issues are also common for people in their 20s. She has three overall tips for people in this age group:

1. Talk to someone. The worst thing that a person can do when they are feeling depressed, anxious, or alone is to isolate more. Many times when we talk with someone we trust about what’s going on, we come to realize that we are not the only ones experiencing it and then we can get support.
2. Get active. Staying physically active not only helps to keep the body fit but also helps release endorphins and serotonin in the brain, which help keep the mood elevated. Physical activity is also a good release for stress and anxiety.
3. Minimize sugar and junk food. Sugar and processed junk foods can worsen the emotions of stress, anxiety, and depression because they cause erratic changes in your body’s blood sugars. This can disrupt the normal release of hormones in the brain that keep your moods stable.

Scott Carroll, a psychiatrist with dual board certifications in adult and child and adolescent psychiatry, said there are many issues specific to people in their 20s, including problems associated with medication use.

“Many people were on stimulants/meds for their ADHD when they were younger, but they thought it was okay to stop their meds when they were done with school,” Carroll said. “Now they are struggling at work and don’t know why. I’ve also seen young adults stop all kinds of meds like their thyroid meds because they didn’t know why they were even on it, and then they have all kinds of problems.”

Bad habits involving drug and alcohol use can start to become a major substance abuse issue when people are in their 20s, and other mental health issues start coming to the forefront at this time in peoples’ lives. Examples include bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. Also, panic attacks can start for people who have a genetic predisposition and who have higher amounts of stress associated with newfound adulthood.

“The 20s are an important time of social/emotional development,” Carroll said. “Unlike previous generations, identity formation often takes the entire 20s due to the complexity of modern society. It could be said that adolescence lasts until the early 30s in today’s society due to [prolonged] periods of education (grad school, law school, med school, etc.), lack of stable job options, and delays in getting married and starting families.”

Carroll, who is also an assistant professor at the University of New Mexico School of Medicine, suggests that when it comes to serious relationships and marriage, people in their 20s should consider how their choices could eventually affect their mental health and how their brain plays a part in their decision.

“Many 20-somethings are tempted to get married, but it is generally a bad idea because the brain in not done developing until about 25 [years old] … which leaves young adults vulnerable to having their rational mind be overwhelmed by their feelings or stress,” Carroll said. “Relationship choices often dramatically change from the early 20s to the late 20s, so many people find that the person that was perfect at 22 is a disaster at 27.  This can be an incredibly hard transition, to have to break up with your former soul mate that you thought you’d love for life because you’ve changed so much over the last several years.”

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Social Anxiety Can Be a Hidden Problem in College

I was quoted on the topic of social anxiety, its causes and how to cope or treat the symptoms. by Rheyanne Weaver |

Public speaking is generally not a favorite activity of most people—in fact many people seem to fear public speaking or at least avoid it when they can. But most people are also not crippled with embarrassment or anxiety when they have to present in front of a class or when they are called on to answer a question. For students with social anxiety, being put into the spotlight occasionally during class presentations or participation is enough to make them avoid those classes altogether.

New research from the University of Plymouth and University of the West of England (UWE) Bristol looked at the impact of social anxiety in higher education, and psychologist Phil Topham estimates that “10 percent of university students experience significant social anxiety,” according to a news release from UWE Bristol.

Social anxiety disorder or social phobia is defined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV-TR) as “a marked and persistent fear of social or performance situations in which embarrassment may occur.” There are several other diagnostic criteria, including that “the social or performance situation is avoided, although it is sometimes endured with dread.” People are only diagnosed with the disorder if their life is significantly negatively impacted.

Out of over 1,500 students who were surveyed, some students experienced “frequent anxiety in learning situations that involved interacting with students and staff.” To cope with this anxiety, students would not participate in lectures and presentations or would even skip class. Other students wouldn’t take any classes that involved presenting at some point, according to the news release.

The researchers conclude that students who experience social anxiety “could be missing out on learning opportunities and may be distracted from attending to academic information by excessively focusing on their anxieties.”

Although the researchers don’t believe students should be treated as potentially fragile and coddled, there needs to be more support available for students with social anxiety without further stigmatizing these students or making them feel like their “flaws” are exposed. The researchers even give some suggestions for support in the university, including “not singling out students for questioning in lectures or setting assessed presentations in their first term,” and “sensitive appreciation of the shame and conflict caused in students by the desire to succeed and the fear of failure.”

Basically, college professors need to take into consideration the styles of all college students—some love the spotlight, others have social anxiety, so it’s best to ease students into participating and presenting during class.

Mental health experts have some tips on how to succeed in high school and college despite having social anxiety.

Nerina Garcia-Arcement, a clinical assistant professor at NYU School of Medicine and a licensed clinical psychologist, gave one major suggestion in an email to help students who are experiencing social anxiety.

“Do not avoid what you fear,” Garcia-Arcement said. “The more you avoid, you are creating evidence that it is more comfortable to not do something. Instead, if you face what you fear you can slowly prove that your worst fears will not be realized.”

She also suggests that students follow these four steps to take control of their anxiety:

1. Stop and evaluate what you are feeling (i.e., butterflies in your stomach, sweating, trouble breathing, heart racing).
2. Stop and evaluate what are you thinking (i.e., “people will laugh at me,” “I will fail,” “I will look ridiculous.”)
3. Practice activities that will reduce the physical symptoms, such as deep breathing, muscle relaxation exercises and imagining yourself in a safe place.
4. Challenge your negative thoughts by stopping the critical belief and instead replace it with a positive thought such as “people have never laughed before,” “I can do this,” “looking silly is the point of this activity, and if I do look silly so what.”

There are effective treatment options for students who have access to a mental health professional.

“Talk therapy is extremely effective for social anxiety, especially cognitive behavioral therapy. Medication can be taken in severe cases, Garcia-Arcement said. “Learning to manage the physical anxiety symptoms and stopping and controlling the negative thoughts is essential to controlling social anxiety. Sometimes people can do it on their own, sometimes they need help with monitoring thoughts and feelings and figuring out what gets in the way of using these new skills.”

She has three other tips for students who are trying to decrease their social anxiety:

1. Practice deep breathing, meditation, yoga, and exercise. These help manage and control anxiety.
2. Ease into social activities, first with smaller groups and eventually, as you feel comfortable, with larger groups.
3. Practice what you fear in a controlled environment. First practice the presentation or talking to a stranger in front of a mirror, later practice in front of someone you trust such as a friend or parent, then go into the real situation.

Scott Carroll, a child psychiatrist who works at the University of New Mexico, said that part of the problem can be that some students don’t realize they have an issue that needs to be worked on.

“Many people with social phobia … often just think they are shy and don’t realize they may have a treatable condition,” Carroll said. “Also, if someone has been anxious their whole life, they may not realize they are significantly more anxious than other people.”

Once students do realize they have a disorder, they have a variety of treatment options available to them, including individual psychotherapy (such as cognitive behavioral therapy), social skills therapy groups, and multiple types of medications.

Carroll has two other coping methods for college students who have social anxiety disorder: positive self-talk, in which you reassure yourself that it’s okay to talk or say hello, can be helpful with milder forms; and repeated exposure, which leads to decreased anxiety, like joining Toastmasters to get comfortable with public speaking.

Jeffrey Gardere, a contributing psychologist at Healthguru.com, said in an email that it’s beneficial for students with social anxiety to have friends they can rely on to come along with them in situations that could cause more anxiety.  Sometimes self-help books can be useful as well.

“The young person with social anxiety may also want to stay away from stimulants such as energy drinks and caffeine in order to avoid becoming even more nervous,” Gardere said. “And certainly [try] to avoid liquor, marijuana or any other chemical that is a self medication in order to feel relaxed, simply because they may be more at risk for possible addiction.”

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How to Quell the Fears of Childbirth

Anxiety can influence a woman's experience during labor. I was quoted in this article regarding how stress and worry can impact a woman's delivery and how to manage their anxiety. by Rheyanne Weaver |

It’s common to fear to some extent painful experiences we aren’t familiar with yet, such as childbirth for soon-to-be mothers. However, a new study found in BJOG: An International Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecologysuggests that women who fear childbirth tend to actually be in labor for longer than women who aren’t fearful of giving birth.

A news release on www.ScienceDaily.com stated that 2,206 women were included in the study. These women were only giving birth to one child vaginally, and 7.5% of these women were determined to be fearful of childbirth at 32 weeks into their pregnancy. The report estimated that between 5% and 20% of pregnant women generally fear childbirth.

For women who feared childbirth, the average labor time was about 1 hour and 32 minutes longer than in women without as much fear. When other factors were considered, the women with fear of childbirth still took 47 minutes longer for labor than women without the same amount of fear. Women who feared childbirth were also more likely to need intervention during labor, such as instrumental vaginal delivery and emergency Caesarean section. However, most women who feared childbirth were still able to have a successful vaginal delivery.

The study added that there are different factors that cause women to fear childbirth, such as having a baby for the first time, being a young mother, having little social support, having a history of abuse, and suffering from psychological issues.  Other experts share their professional opinions on the causes of fear of childbirth and what women can do to decrease that fear.

Julie Hanks, a licensed clinical social worker, the owner and executive director of Wasatch Family Therapy, LLC, and a mother of four children, said in an email that she believes fear of childbirth is actually quite common in our society. “I think it is common for women to fear childbirth because it has become so medicalized in our society,” Hanks said. “Instead of viewing childbirth as a natural process that women’s bodies were created to do, it is viewed as a scary, painful, ‘out of control’ experience that needs medical intervention.”

She said that some women who have gone through specific painful experiences before might be more likely to have a fear of childbirth. “In my clinical practice I have seen a link between childhood sexual trauma and fear of childbirth,” Hanks said. “Since childbirth and sexual abuse involve the same organs, it is often emotionally tied together. Additionally, feelings of helplessness and of being controlled by a man may emerge during the childbirth process (often a male OB).”

General anxiety could also lead to fear of childbirth. “Certain mental illnesses, like anxiety disorders, may predispose certain women to anxiety about the childbirth process, especially with first-time moms,” she said.

The stories of other women who have had bad experiences with childbirth could also add to the fear for first-time moms. “Women may fear childbirth because of family stories surrounding their mother or sister’s childbirth experiences,” Hanks said. “Additionally, women tend to share their birth ‘horror stories’ more frequently than they share uncomplicated birth stories, playing into a cultural fear of childbirth. I think this can impact mental health in general.”

The whole concept of becoming a mother can bring up a lot of issues, not just childbirth itself. “Taking on the new role of becoming a mother is also emotionally loaded and may bring up a woman’s own fear of inadequacy and self-doubt about whether or not she will be able to provide the nurturing that this helpless baby requires,” Hanks said. “If a woman has emotional neglect, abuse, or other unresolved issues with her own mother, those ‘left over’ emotions may surface as a woman now faces becoming her mother.”

There are even more mental health issues that can be associated with pregnancy and childbirth. “Hormonal fluctuations may impact emotional health relating to childbirth,” Hanks said. “Also, family pressures, relatives coming into town to celebrate the birth of a new baby may add to the overall stress of childbirth experiences.”

If physical health is impacted, then mental health is also not far behind. “Eating disorders or distorted body image may play into mental health issues, anxiety, and obsessions around childbirth,” Hanks said. “The physical changes that often accompany pregnancy and childbirth are often frightening to women who have built their self-worth around their appearance.” Hanks shared her thoughts on helping women overcome any fear they may feel in relation to childbirth. She said, “I believe that a cultural shift in viewing childbirth as a normal, natural process that generally doesn’t require intervention would really help women embrace the process without fear. Also, sharing positive childbirth stories openly may help shift women’s views.”

Dr. Ingrid Rodia, an OB-GYN and associate professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Geffen School of Medicine at UCLA, said in an email that some women are more anxious in general, and others do have a higher risk in regard to childbirth, so these can both lead to issues with fear.  She added that the most common fears women have in relation to childbirth are pain, concerns about the baby coming out “normal,” and concerns about surviving childbirth. “Women might fear childbirth because they are already overwhelmed and wonder how they are going to deal with the additional demands,” Rodi said. “Women who did not plan the pregnancy, and especially those who did not want to be pregnant, are particularly at risk for anxiety and depression. Those women with a pre-existing mood or anxiety disorder are at increased risk of anxiety and depression, not only during the pregnancy, but also post partum … Psychological issues before the pregnancy can lead to more fear of childbirth.”

Financial issues, a poor relationship with the father, and psychological issues can add to fear of childbirth as well. “Basically, in order to decrease the fear of childbirth, the pregnancy should be desired, the woman should feel financially and personally supported, and she should have medical and psychiatric problems identified and treated prior to pregnancy,” Rodi said.

Nerina Garcia-Arcement, a licensed clinical psychologist and clinical assistant professor at NYU School of Medicine, said in an email that pain and negativity associated with childbirth tends to be exaggerated in the media and among family and friends, adding to a fear of childbirth. “The media’s portrayal of childbirth with women screaming in agony makes it understandable why women might fear childbirth,” Garcia-Arcement said. “Rarely are stories of childbirth portrayed as calm and peaceful, where women are in control of the experience and the pain. Some women have heard negative stories of long and difficult labor from family and friends. If this is their first child, fear of the unknown is common. Women worry about what might happen, what might go wrong and how they will react to the pain of childbirth. This is an experience perceived as out of their control, which can be scary.”

Women who have mental disorders and have certain personality types might fear childbirth more than others. “Women that are already experiencing anxiety and depression symptoms prior to pregnancy are likely to have those symptoms exacerbated by things like a difficult pregnancy or worry about what to expect during childbirth,” Garcia-Arcement said. “Individuals that like to be in control of their experiences will likely worry about childbirth, an experience that cannot be dictated by a mother but can be managed.”

Women do have real concerns in regard to pregnancy, because each pregnancy and childbirth experience is different, and some women do require C-sections, endure more pain, and have complications with delivery, adding to that fear. However, Garcia-Arcement does have several tips for women who may fear an upcoming childbirth experience.

1. Become informed about what will happen during labor and childbirth. She said, “Childbirth itself might not be within a woman’s control, but how she reacts to it is. Being informed can be empowering. Avoidance of what is feared will only make it worse.  Becoming an informed consumer will help women feel they can make better choices during childbirth. Women ought to learn about what typical labor medical procedures and medications are used.”
2. Choose the doctor or midwife who is right for you, and plan to use the hospital or birthing center that matches your beliefs about childbirth.
3. Create a birth plan and discuss concerns and wishes with your medical provider. This is your baby and your body, so don’t be afraid to ask questions before and during labor.
4. Learn how to use deep breathing techniques, muscle relaxation exercises, and imagery of a safe peaceful place to reduce anxiety.
5. Plan to use distraction with positive self-care activities.
6. Seek support from other women, whether in a group setting or online.

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Experts Share Tips on Getting the Life You Want Right Now

I was quoted on how to problem solve and set goals. By Rheyanne Weaver |

Remember those 10 pounds you were supposed to lose last year? Or what about that fantasy novel you were supposed to start writing during that recent vacation?

Many people have goals and a basic outline of what their ideal life would be, but they don’t necessarily do what it takes to get the life they want. Luckily there are experts who can help you find that inner power to start living your true life right now.

Stever Robbins, the host of the “Get-it-Done Guy” business podcast, an executive coach and adjunct lecturer at Babson College, has four tips for people who know what they want to do in life, they just haven’t managed to get there yet.

1) “Stay connected to them on a regular basis. Draw out a life map that connects your daily projects to your highest goals and review it daily, so you can see how the little items are connected to your big motivators.”

2) “Plan for change. Any big change of goals will change who you hang out with, what you talk about, and how you go about your daily life. Think that through ahead of time, anticipate the changes, and set up structures to make them happen.”

3) “Get a friend. It's easier when you have someone else and can hold each other mutually accountable.”

4) “Start with action and controlled experiments. Don't quit your day job to write your novel. Find ways to write small pieces at no risk, and then increase your writing only if it's really giving you the joy/happiness/progress you want.”

Mark Wiggins, a motivational speaker, trainer, co-creator of the Journey to Success program, and author of the book “Permission to Succeed: The Only Person Who Needs To Give It Is You,” gave six straightforward steps of his suggested process toward achieving goals:

1. “Determine your destination.”

2. “Identify your purpose.”

3. “Set your goals.”

4. “Develop your strategy.”

5. “Take action.”

6. “Evaluate your progress.”

Michelle King, a personal and motivational life and relationship coach, has five motivational tips for people who need a jumpstart toward their goals:

1) “Get clear on exactly what it is you want to achieve and accomplish in life. Brainstorm the idea and strain out the maybe's and the no's pertaining to the goal. When you have reached a complete and utter ‘Yes, this is exactly what I want,’ then the ability to move forward becomes so much more smoother.”

2) “Set a time frame as to when this goal needs to be accomplished. A time frame creates an urgency and establishes the motivation that is needed to accomplish your affirmation.”

3) “Realistically, list exactly what it is that is slowing you down and standing in your way of achieving what you set out to do. Once you acknowledge the obstacles, consider how these obstacles are impacting your ability to move forward. One by one, work through the obstacles that are holding you back. You will discover that many of these obstacles are much more minimal than you thought, and can be overcome just by addressing that specific issue or eliminating it from your life. For example, if you are on a mission to lose 30 pounds but have a pantry filled with junk food, how else are you going to resist the temptation of eating the food if you don't get rid of it? Be bold and be brave about eliminating these obstacles -- it's only for your benefit.”

4) “Make sure you tell someone what you are trying to achieve so that you can receive the support you will need at obtaining your ultimate goal. Seek out a friend or professional that will ensure you are holding yourself accountable for what you desire to accomplish.”

5) “Once you've accomplished one major goal through this process, the ability to achieve the next goal or goals will be obtained with ease and confidence. Take it one step at a time.”

Nerina Garcia-Arcement, a licensed clinical psychologist and clinical assistant professor at NYU School of Medicine, said in an email that it’s important to not just have major goals, but to have small goals along the way that are realistic. This helps build confidence and self-esteem enough to achieve even larger goals in the future.

She also suggested listing benefits of a certain goal, as well as the obstacles, and putting that list in a place that stands out the most at home or work. This list will be a reminder for achieving that major goal, and also help work on removing the obstacles.

Lauren Whitt, a motivational counselor and corporate wellness practitioner, has three additional unique tips to help you on your path to success:

1) "Track your goals daily by using a ‘mirror tracker.’ Using a dry erase marker, list out your goals on a mirror you look at daily. Make a note or tally of progress each day. This will help as both a reminder and a motivator as you see what you've accomplished."

2) "As you achieve both smaller and larger goals, reward yourself. For example, if your ultimate goal is to get fit and one of your initial goals is to go to the gym X amount of times per week and you meet that goal, reward yourself with a new workout accessory, like a shirt."

3) "Creating an inspiration wall is another way to remind yourself of the goals and dreams you are working towards. You can do this on the inside of a closet door, bulletin board or social media page. If your goal is to lose weight, hang pictures of your dream vacation spot or beach view. Then go there when you've achieved that goal."

Christine Cashen, a certified speaking professional, has three tips for accomplishing goals and getting the life you yearn for:

1) "Do three things every day to move you towards your goal. This way you don't get overwhelmed and keep moving forward.”

2) “Become an investigative reporter. Find people who have your dream job and speak with them about their path and what suggestions they may have. You may find a great mentor.”

3) “Take a risk. When you think you can't do something, use this risk chant (you must say it in chant voice): ‘Oh what the heck ... go for it anywayyyyy!’”

Link to article

Domestic violence and mental health: How are they intertwined?

Domestic violence leads to complicated emotional reactions. In this article I share information that sheds light on typical reactions to trauma and why it is difficult for the abused to leave.

By Rheyanne Weaver |

The United States still has a lot of work to do in regard to addressing the prevalence of domestic violence.

In fact, an in-depth story from the Arizona Republic has pointed to the fact that in the last several years, the number of deaths from domestic violence has stayed fairly consistent in Arizona.

While this means there hasn’t really been an increase in deaths, there certainly hasn’t been a decrease either.

Fortunately, researchers are seeking more information about domestic violence and specifically about domestic violence that ends in death. Not surprisingly, much of the research has a mental health aspect.

For example, the article mentioned how substance abuse, depression and estrangement are just some of many risk factors that could increase a battered woman’s chance of eventually being killed by her partner.

Later, the article explained that generally before a battered woman’s life ends at the hands of her partner, there are warning signs. For example, the partner usually engages in a specific kind of abusive behavior called “intimate partner terrorism” or “coercive control.”

“Coercive control is almost exclusively the domain of men,” according to the article. “It is long-term and tyrannical abuse that includes, often in addition to physical violence, attacks on a woman's self-worth, degrading remarks and obsessive monitoring of her whereabouts and her contact with other people.”

The abuser often has mental health issues like depression or substance abuse, and struggles with obsessive and possessive behavior. In some cases, abusers cope with massive self-shame by severely abusing or killing their partners.

Mental health experts have more insight into how domestic violence can impact mental health, and what issues sometimes predispose people to being in relationships that involve domestic violence.

Nerina Garcia-Arcement, a licensed clinical psychology and a clinical assistant professor at the NYU School of Medicine, said in an email that there is a gradual process that leads from “normal” relationships to relationships involving domestic violence.

“Women don't enter violent relationships where they are being hit from day one,” Garcia-Arcement said. “They date men that pay attention to them, are possessive and slowly begin to limit their behavior and social interactions (i.e., the woman can't talk to friends or family as much or at all, or she can't wear certain things). Often this controlling behavior is couched as ‘loving them.’"

Then comes the act of lowering the victim's self-esteem.

“Once they are socially isolated, they (abusers) begin to erode their self-esteem by insulting them or calling them names, telling them that no one else would want them, etc.,” Garcia-Arcement said. “Once the (victim’s) self esteem is fragile, they often begin the physical abuse.”

“This is why women don't just leave,” she added. “By the time they are being hit, they are socially isolated, feel stupid and undesirable, doubt their self-worth and fear the consequences of leaving. If they are not staying out of fear, they are staying because they have come to believe they deserve this treatment, that they are at fault for being hit, for ‘being stupid/saying the wrong thing,’ etc."

Women in abusive relationships tend to suffer from mental health issues like anxiety, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder as a result, she said.

“Many women who are in abusive relationships grew up in households where they witnessed abuse,” Garcia-Arcement said. “This normalizes it. Confuses love and violence. This is a pattern that is familiar. For other women (who) don't grow up in abusive households, the typical cycle of abuse prepares them. Their self-esteem gets eroded until the abuse makes sense.”

David M. Reiss, a psychiatrist and previous interim medical director for Providence Behavioral Health Hospital, just spoke at the 35th annual convention of the International Psychohistorical Association about child abuse and trauma, and their impact on individuals, communities and society. He said in an email that relationships with domestic violence are characterized by dysfunction and pathology.

“No relationship can maintain appropriate intimacy and trust if there is violence occurring,” Reiss said.

Some women also try to rationalize that it’s better for the children if they stay with their abusive partner.

“Staying ‘for the children’ is misguided, as children need role models who do not let themselves be abused,” Reiss added.

Freda Emmons, the author of “Flame of Healing: A Daily Journey of Healing From Abuse and Trauma,” said in an email that she grew up with abuse throughout her childhood.

Her mother was a victim of abuse by her father, and the mother also contributed to some child abuse along with the father.

“I asked her once why she stayed and she said it was because of us kids; she didn't believe that she could provide for us,” Emmons said. “I told her it would have been better to get assistance or whatever she could do to spare us the horrible years of pain.”

However, Emmons’ mother couldn’t take care of herself and was suffering from issues that are associated with abuse victims, so she was unable to protect her children from their father or herself.

“I think some women have been so battered, physically and emotionally, that they have lost their sense of personal value,” Emmons said. “They think that they are the cause of the problem, that if they would just be a better wife, mother, spouse, cook, cleaner, etc. that the abuse would stop. It never does.”

She hopes her book can help others find a way out of the despair she experienced.

Link to article

Why it's OK to wait to have kids

I am quoted in this article regarding reasons why waiting to have children is beneficial for some.

by Lisa Steinke |

The average age a woman has a child is 27. But many women aren't anywhere near ready to have children in their 20s. And these days, more are waiting -- some until their mid-to-late 30s or even their 40s. So is now the right time for you or should you wait? Read on for the reasons experts give for why it's OK to ignore that biological clock.

Anna, mother of one from Illinois, says she's a happier parent for waiting until she was older, "My husband and I didn't have our first child until our early 40s. It was a wonderful decision for many reasons. Our daughter is now 13 months, and we are both 43 years old. We couldn't be happier parents!"

Ignore the ticking clock

But what if, unlike Anna, you're struggling with the thought of waiting, feeling self-imposed or outside pressure to procreate? Nerina Garcia-Arcement, Ph.D. urges women not to rush into having a child simply because others are doing it or because their clock is ticking. "Having a child changes everything, literally."

"There are many pros to waiting, including being more emotionally and psychologically ready for the vast changes to lifestyle and time commitment that children require."

More financial stability

Garcia-Arcement also reminds potential parents that financial stability can come with waiting. "Having a more stable and developed profession so that you are in a more stable financial situation... " Barbara Neitlich, psychotherapist, adds, "If you wait, you can generally put more money aside for your baby fund."

More confidence and maturity

Beverly D. Flaxington, author and mother of three, who had babies at 35, 38 and 42 says, "I felt more confident after going through a number of life situations and developing different perspectives on life." Garcia-Arcement makes the point, "You might have more energy as a younger mom, but older moms have the benefit of more life experience and maturity." Neitlich adds, "As you age you learn more about yourself, your partner and what type of parent you want to be."

More time for you

Neitlich also says a key reason to wait is to "travel, travel, travel!" and spend more quality time with your partner first. Garcia-Arcement agrees, "Accomplishing personal goals first (e.g. education, travel, attending cultural events) allows the mom to never question should I have waited until... ?"

Ask yourself the important questions

Sharon Gilchrest O’Neill, a marriage and family therapist, reminds couples to ask themselves important questions before making their final decision.

• Are you and your spouse in agreement? Will you both be committed to all that is entailed?
• Do you and your spouse believe you would enjoy parenting?
• Will you consider medical intervention if you cannot get pregnant?
• Are there any financial concerns? Will a child make a difference in whether both spouses will be able to pursue their careers, work full time, finish up any education, etc.?
• Are there any emotional or psychological reasons underlying a push for a child — the kind of reasons that have more to do with improving the marriage, etc.? The kind that are not healthy reasons and usually backfire?

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Coping While You Wait For Medical Test Results

In this article I am quoted on typical reactions to the unknown, such as stress and anxiety, and how to manage your feelings and cope with the uncertainty. By Rheyanne Weaver  |

Waiting for the weekend to come or a long-desired vacation can bring excitement, but what happens when you’re waiting for something nerve-racking, like medical test results and a potential diagnosis?

Experts explore the connection between fearing the unknown (which can happen when you’re waiting for medical test results), and provide tips for how you can keep positive in a potentially negative situation.

Nerina Garcia-Arcement, a licensed clinical psychologist and a clinical assistant professor at the NYU School of Medicine, said in an email that fearing the unknown is something we all experience at some point in life.

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“Fear of the unknown (especially when [the] outcome can be negative) is a normal human reaction,” Garcia-Arcement said. “That is why many avoid going to the doctor to begin with. They fear hearing that they are ill or whatever they imagine.”

Besides the common fear and anxiety that can be associated with waiting for medical test results, there are other emotions and thoughts that people can experience.

“Other common emotions are numbness ... worry, sadness and guilt (that they didn't go sooner and now might be ill) and concern about how this might impact their lives, plans and families,” Garcia-Arcement said.

So now that you’re waiting for medical test results, how can you cope with some of these negative emotions you may be experiencing?

“[The] best way is to acknowledge what they are feeling, normalize it/know that it is normal to feel that way, and then use healthy coping strategies to deal with what they are feeling,” Garcia-Arcement said. “If they are anxious and worried, do breathing exercises, distract themselves with activities and people they enjoy, do visualization exercises or any other type of self-care activity that will help them ‘get through’ until they receive their diagnosis.”

If you’re almost positive that the medical test results you’re waiting for will lead to a diagnosis of some kind, there are some ways you can prepare yourself for this potentially devastating situation.

“I have my patients imagine worst case [scenarios],” Garcia-Arcement said.

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20 Ways Shrinks Stay Sane

Here I am quoted on coping strategies to reduce stress. By Julie Hanks, LCSW  |

It’s mental health month! Like many of you, I’ve been actively sharing mental health information as a way to increase education and reduce stigma surrounding mental illness. While it’s an honor to be in a profession that focuses on supporting the mental health of others, being a therapist often requires regularly going to “dark” places with clients, and that can take a toll on our ownmental health.

After nearly 20 years in the field, I’ve noticed that a lot of therapists (myself included) tend to be caretakers, people-pleasers, and self-sacrificers, making us particularly vulnerable to neglecting our own mental health in the name of caring for others. I have learned to become fiercely dedicated to self-care, self- awareness and to maintaining my own relationships in order to protect and nurture my own mental health.

I wanted to reach out beyond my own experience to therapists around the world to see how they nurture their own mental health in a profession that can be emotionally and mentally exhausting. Here’s what they had to say.

1. Live in the present

“I make myself more present by asking ‘Where am I in space right now? What do i hear? What do I feel? What do I taste and smell? What do I see?’ ” Natalie Robinson Garfield.

“I find 20 minutes a day to escape from the world and enjoy the peace and quiet.” Deborah Serani, Ph.D.

“I meditate regularly and journal about my dreams.”  Dr. Will Courtenay

2. Surround yourself with positive people

“I rid myself of toxic relationships and situations immediately and I engage in religious activities, especially prayer,” says Leticia R. Reed, LCSW.

Surrounding yourself with positive people also includes you. Kim Olver, LCPC checks the stories she tells herself about her own life. “If they serve me great, if they don’t I’ll change them. I’m the one who makes them up after all,” says Olver.

3. Go to your own therapy

“I go to my own therapy on a regular basis.” Dr. Will Courtenay

“I take care of my mental health by checking in with my own counselor when I need someone objective to bounce things off of and get centered or grounded.” Xiomara A. Sosa

“I have entered therapy 3 times since my core training. 3 different styles to suit the issues I was experiencing. I also do workshops and retreats throughout the year for personal/spiritual development.” Jodie Gale

4. Get moving

“I have two Labrador retrievers who demand a lot of attention. I find a great escape just going out into the backyard and throwing the Frisbee for an hour.” Regina Bright, LMHC

“I salsa dance! I rely on the nonverbal connection with my partner and happy music to get through some challenging weeks.” Dr. Amy E. Keller

“Every day I take time to meditate or participate in Pilates or yoga.” Diane Petrella, MSW

5. Nurture a sense of humor 

“I try to maintain a good sense of humor and find ways to laugh during life’s challenges.” Ashley Bretting, LMFT

“My spouse and I attend a comedy show every week.”  Stacey Kinney, LMFT

6. Maintain friendships

“I make sure to have tea or lunch at least once a week with a friend that is supportive and makes me laugh.” Nerina Garcia-Arcement, Ph.D.

“I find that participating through friendship in the life of someone outside the field is even more refreshing and grounding than the peer consultation we used to do.” Mark E. Sharp, Ph.D.

7. Take a break

“I love vacationing to Costa Rica.”Dr. Amy E. Keller

“I enjoy watching funny and/or inspirational YouTube videos.” Hugh A Forde, PhD

“Hiking is a great activity that helps reduce my stress levels.” Dr. Karen Sherman

8. Catch some zzzz’s regularly

This one is an important one for me. I try to take a long naps every Sunday afternoon.

“My goal is to get at least eight hours of sleep every night.” Stephanie Moulton Sarkis PhD

9. Uplifting media

“I like to read books, listen to music, and subscribe to inspirational Facebook pages.” Dr. Matthew Clark

10. Reach out to those in need

“I do volunteer work with Mission Outreach, a non-profit group that collects unused medical supplies in the United States and sends them to third world countries. Being able to help others in such a simple, easy way does wonders for one’s outlook on life.” Sujatha Ramakrishna, M.D.

11. Create fun each day

“I ask myself, ‘Have I had fun today?’ If the answer is no, then make it happen before the night is over!” Natalie Robinson Garfield

“I pursue my hobbies of photography, painting, and jewelry making.” Stacey Brown 

12. Say no

“I have found that out is easier to say “no” when I realize that if you say “no” to one thing, you are always saying “yes” to something else. If I say “no” to a new client, I am saying “yes” to time with family and a less busy mind.” Joseph R. Sanok, LPC

“I hold stringently to my practice days and hours—keeping mornings for myself to exercise and write, using afternoon to early evening for clients, and taking off Fridays for whatever I want to do.” Karen R. Koenig, LCSW, M.Ed.

13. Celebrate nature

“I love to spend time in nature by walking through the woods or listening to the birds chirp.” Sujatha Ramakrishna, M.D.

“I work in a professional office setting and need to be reminded that I am an animal. Getting out to a park or the beach or a hike in the mountain, or even a drive up the coast with the top down are instant healing techniques.” Nancy B. Irwin Psy.D

14) Express yourself creatively

“I nurture my own mental health through my other profession which is as a comic/writer….in writing my own material I get to see the humor in almost every situation and in performing it, I get to bring laughter…one of the greatest stress reducers of life….to others.” Jane Stroll

“I write in a journal often.” Xiomara A. Sosa

“I take a writing class, so that I can stay creative and do something that’s just for me!” Janet Zinn, LCSW

15. Get pampered

My personal favorites are a message and a pedicure. I try to do at least two pampering activities a month to help me relax and to nurture myself.  Ashley Bretting, MFT gets pampered by having her hair washed by someone else. Whether it’s a hot bubble bath or a leisurely walk, do something that feels nurturing on a regular basis.

16. Be a kid

Ashley Bretting “I bring out her inner child by coloring with crayons or paints!”

“I spend time with animals and children. The unconditional, pure love and affection from these creatures soothes the soul.” Nancy B. Irwin Psy.D

17. Get out of your head

“I bike to work as much as I can — this is a 30 minute commute by bike, 20 minutes by car.  In doing this, I ensure that I arrive at work very relaxed & calm (having just spent time close to nature — hearing the birds chirp and the wind blow and seeing green around).  When I leave the office at the end of the day, all of my worries get worked out by the time I get home.  So, I arrive at home very relaxed also!” Sally Palaian, PhD

18. Process your feelings regularly

Karen Hylen, Ph.D, of Summit Malibu Treatment Center suggest regularly sharing  your feelings with a friend or a loved one to avoid emotional explosions. Hylen shares this analogy:

When you bottle up your emotions, you are figuratively assembling a bomb in your head. Each feeling you bury in your head is you  putting together another piece of the bomb. Keep enough of your feelings to yourself and before you know it you’ll have an emotional explosion.

19. Focus on family

I enjoy spending time with my family. Going to the beach and reading or walking is especially refreshing. I take two trips a year with the family and then one with just my husband. Regina Bright, LMHC

“I make sure I make time for my loved ones. It is an anchoring force,” shares Dr. Anandhi Narasimhan.

20. Consult regularly on difficult situations

When I first went into independent practice I set up to have lunch or breakfast with a colleague also in independent practice every couple of weeks. It allowed us to bounce ideas off of each other and not feel so isolated in our work. Mark Sharp, Ph.D

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How Are Diabetes And Mental Health Connected?

I am quoted in a discussion of how Diabetes impact mental health and ways to cope. By Rheyanne Weaver |

Diabetes is a growing health condition that affects 25.8 million people of all ages in the United States, according to 2010 statistics from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention website.

These most recent statistics also state that 8.3 percent of the U.S. population has diabetes. While the number of people with diabetes increases, there are not only concerns for how diabetes impacts physical health but also mental health.

The American Diabetes Association website suggests that some people living with diabetes can experience some mental health issues due to having diabetes. These can include anger toward having a diagnosis in the first place, denial toward the diagnosis, and in more severe cases depression can result.

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Living with diabetes can be stressful as well, according to the American Psychological Association website. For example, people with diabetes might stress over their eating options at restaurants, so it’s important to develop coping methods for stress and to make sure to plan ahead for some situation.

People with diabetes can also learn to recognize negative feelings they have toward diabetes, and then learn how they can treat their diabetes. Mental health professionals can help people with diabetes develop intervention and treatment plans, and they can help with coping strategies.

The American Psychological Association website also stated that according to different studies, diabetes can lead to mental health issues like depression and slow mental processing. People with depression may also in general be more prone to type 2 diabetes.

The website emphasizes that a very small percentage of people who are diagnosed with diabetes actually follow a treatment plan involving changes in diet, exercise and taking medication, suggesting that people with diabetes are having issues with lifestyle changes.

Another study found that people who did work with a mental health professional on behavior change along with making lifestyle changes decreased their chances of getting diabetes.

Some experts share even more information about the link between diabetes and mental health.

Sujatha Ramakrishna, a clinical psychiatrist, said in an email that people with mental illnesses can be more prone to diabetes and other health problems because they are more likely to make unhealthy choices related to overall health, such as poor eating and exercise habits.

People with mental illnesses who take medication can also unknowingly increase their risk of getting diabetes.

“Antipsychotic medications, also known as mood stabilizers, are associated with an increased risk of diabetes,” Ramakrishna said. “It's recommended that patients who take these medications have their weight and blood sugar levels checked regularly by their physician. Other psychotropic medications, including SSRIs such as Prozac, can also cause weight gain, which in turn increases the chance that patients might develop diabetes.”

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Nerina Garcia-Arcement, a licensed clinical psychologist and a clinical assistant professor at the NYU School of Medicine, said in an email that there are many mental health issues to consider that are connected to diabetes.

“If someone has diabetes, this impacts and limits their physical abilities and diet,” Garcia-Arcement said. “This often leads to people experiencing sadness, anxiety, frustration and loss. If there are [amputations] due to complications from the diabetes, this often negatively impacts mental health.”

There are also many contributing factors related to diabetes that can lead to depression.

“The stress related to managing a chronic illness, plus fear/worry about a negative prognosis are excellent causes for depression,” Garcia-Arcement added.

Taking diabetes medication can lead to mental health issues indirectly, in addition to psychiatric medication leading to diabetes in some cases.

“Having to monitor sugar levels and take insulin is stressful, limiting of everyday activities and can lead to worry, stress, anxiety and sadness,” Garcia-Arcement said.

In general, especially if you have a mental illness, it’s beneficial to talk to a mental health professional so they can help with motivation, behavior changes and understanding the link between mood and health so you can maintain good health, she said.

“Research has shown that people with mental illness have shorter life spans, often because they neglect their health,” Garcia-Arcement said.

“For example, if you are depressed, you are less motivated to engage in pleasurable activities, get out and socialize, eat healthy ... and exercise. Many don't take their medication as prescribed, often forget doctor’s appointments, or don't have the motivation to make appointments and keep them. This in turn worsens their diabetes. As they get sicker, they often get more anxious and depressed.”

Elizabeth Mwanga, who was diagnosed in 2007 with type 1.5 diabetes (latent autoimmune diabetes), used to be morbidly obese and was close to death due to her diabetes. However, she made major changes in her eating and fitness routines, and since 2009 she hasn’t needed to take medication for diabetes and has even kept off the 100 pounds that she lost.

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She definitely sees a connection between mental health and diabetes, especially because many diabetics have high and low blood sugar levels that tend to affect mood.

“Blood sugar lows and highs can cause mood swings, which can be very disruptive,” Mwanga said in an email.

She said low blood sugar levels can lead to anger and minimal energy, and sometimes hallucinations and delirium. With high blood sugar levels, depression and mood swings can be a result.

“Diabetes requires 24/7 self-care management,” Mwanga said. “Sometimes this can be frustrating, overwhelming and depressing.”

“Food and fitness is linked to better physical health and diabetes management, which in turn effects mental health,” Mwanga added.

“I find myself feeling a lot more energetic and happier when I eat a diet full of fresh fruit and vegetables. I have also begun doing research on foods that raise serotonin levels. For example, I drink green tea (for the energy boost/antioxidants) during the day, and chamomile at night (for the calming effect, also full of antioxidants and anti-inflammatory properties). I eat whole raw almonds a lot, and lean turkey.

All of these foods are low GI ([low] glycemic foods are best for diabetics) and studies have shown that all aid to the process of serotonin.”

There is never a better time to make health your priority. Proper exercise, healthy diet and sleep routines are all key to the best overall health, and at least paying special attention to these areas of life will most likely decrease your risk of developing diabetes, other physical and mental health issues.

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